Something Wrong With Me
by Sean Michael, July 2013
Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me
Sometimes I don’t know where I’m supposed to be
Sometimes I wish that I was dead
Sometimes I wish I could get away — from all these
thoughts inside my head
Don’t try to save my soul
I’ve already lost my soul
I’ve already lost control
Too many times to count
I beat my head against the wall
Until the blood comes out
I feel just like a child who’s lost and alone
Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me
Sometimes I don’t know where I’m supposed to be
Sometimes I wish that I was dead
Sometimes I wish I could get away — from all these
thoughts inside my head
My skin is crawling
I’m disgusted with myself again
Sometimes I lash out at my only friends
Sometimes I just wanna be left alone
With my thoughts of you
And a better time when you really cared for me
Maybe I just made it up
And nobody really cares for me
Posted at dVerse Poets, Meeting the Bar –Jazz Poetry
Mad Poet Enchained 
Hard not to be depressed when you are in isolation. Your songs are very evocative.
LikeLike
Like reading a page out of my journal. Keep your head up
LikeLike
this def. has a bluesy feel to it… deep emotions…. and the question style works well here.. and sometimes we ARE our worst enemy and should be just a bit more gentle with ourselves…
LikeLike
I wrote this song as kinda bluesy/Grunge rock. Jerry Cantrell (guitarist of Alice In Chains) is one of my inspirations, songs like “Dirt,” “Love, Hate, Love,” Rain When I Die,” and “Hate to Feel.”
LikeLike
Sadness expressed here… As Claudia said, it is ‘bluesy’ and it has the ring of truth as well, which is the hardest kind of blues.
LikeLike
I’m glad that you experienced the ring of truth as you read the words of this song. I’ve got the lyrics inside of me. I just don’t have a great singing voice, but I think with the proper musical accompaniment I could pull off something halfway between singing & talking.
LikeLike
Oh those repetitions with variations really works so welll to give it a Jazz/Blues feel… and that permeating depression… so black so black.
LikeLike
Are you from Sweden? I saw names like Björn in that book “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”
Thank you for your comment — I like it.
LikeLike
Yes indeed I’m from Sweden… I live in Stockholm so I know the areas of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo quite well 🙂
LikeLike
Heart-wrenching soul searching!
LikeLike
I think that’s exactly what I was feeling and doing. Thanks. Cool.
LikeLike
Those four lines repeating the same words and beats are most definitely blues territory, but I do hope they are not becoming a leitmotiv to your life.
LikeLike
At the time, I kinda felt like it was–real fuckin’ heavy. But maybe it’s a little lighter now. This last depression lasted so long and was rough as hell. I’m doing better now though. Sometimes. I mean, it’ll be alright.
LikeLike
This is one of the most saddest poems I have ever read. and I feel for you man…I know exactly what its like to feel this way. Awesome poem man.
What inspired you? If you don’t mind me asking.
LikeLike
I have messed up things in my life repeatedly. When I wrote this, I was beating myself up about a few of these things, feeling like I was letting people down, myself included. Things were getting kinda rough and this came out of me onto paper in about 15 minutes. Pantera’s “Cemetary Gates” was playing in the background.
LikeLike
Somewhere between Lena Horne and Amy Winehouse, I hear a broken woman singing the blues – the blues of loss, of abuse, of abandonment, of frustration, of not meeting the mark, of not knowing she is beautiful, wondrous, superb, brilliant, talented, smart, and unique. Love yourself, baby..that’s what changed when women got upwardly conscious and we heard the truth from those positive black women poets: Nikki Giovanni, Sonia Sanchez, Maya Angelou, Rita Dove, Toni Morrison and more…we will overcome and we shall prevail!
LikeLike
Not sure I’m thrilled about being compared to a woman … just kidding.. but I know what you mean. Amy had that sort of sound, and if she hadn’t OD’d maybe she could have sung a version of my song. I’d have surely let her. Loss, abuse, abandonment, frustration, not meeting the mark… yeah, I’ve been through it.
LikeLike
harsh man…but real feeling as well…we can be so hard on ourselves and really tear ourselves up…nice repetition…sounds like gramma cares for you…what dedication to post your poems…and send you the feedback…travel light man.
LikeLike
That’s the truth — Grandma cares. Others do too, apparently. It’s just not very easy to believe when I am being so hard on myself, and change doesn’t come either fast or easy.
LikeLike
Hard journey those blues.
LikeLike
So true…
LikeLike
Sad, and so can relate to your post. It sings like the slow blue jazz that is related to dirges. Well done!
LikeLike
I truly hope that these aren’t reflections of how you are feeling right now. We all go through terrible times and hopefully come out the other side stronger, wiser people. This is excellent, the repetitions and the break in the rhythm are wonderful. If this is the journey you are travelling right now, I wish you all the very best.
LikeLike