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A Couple of Thoughts and a Poem

January 25, 2014

I’m not just being modest or cliche, but I hate most of the poetry that I write. I’m not sure that I will ever get over that feeling of hate and sometimes disgust that I harbor toward my creations. I wonder if “God” feels the same way about his creations. Are we walking, talking, breathing poetry that sometimes seems so great and beautiful, but ultimately lets our creator down? Is my poetry a living, breathing object?

Long story, short … a friend of mine tells my that I am courageous for so boldly displaying my art. I guess in a way, she is right. Truthfully, I never thought I’d have over 100 people reading my bLog, or such favorable comments on my poetry as I get from followers and the good people at d’Verse (http://dversepoets.com).

Here’s my latest:

Induced Psychosiseye
by Sean Michael, January 2014

Fluorescent, bright lights assail my vision and cause
a rapid fluttering,
as doctors cinch the leather straps around my
limbs and restrain my body from struggling.
My throat is hoarse from screaming.
I’m out of breath and my chest is heaving.
A gloved hand lowers my pants by the belt.
and a syringe delivers a prick to the buttocks,
hardly felt.
The Thorazine high sweeps over my brain like a
tidal wave,
and quickly I am swept away into bleak
darkness,
a dreamless empty state of unconsciousness.
Hours are lost into days before I’m woken
and led back to my room to sleep off the toxins
in my brain.
Then before my psychotherapist I’m seated and
treated for depression and anxiety,
borderline paranoia, schizophrenia, and
personality disorder.

But before I was locked me up in this place,
I think I was sane.

Posted at  dVerse Poets, Poetics, On the Other Hand

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From → Art, BLOG, Poetry

24 Comments
  1. Hmmmm…..on the other hand, I wonder sometimes what is sanity?

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  2. if we always walked a specific way in daylight we will only realize that there is no streetlamp when we walk it in the dark for the first time… with health issues it can be the same.. sounds tough what you’re going through at the moment… heartfelt wishes that the path lights up soon…

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  3. Barbara permalink

    Wow! Heavy!

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  4. thorazine is pretty scary stuff…i used to have to administer it to some of the patients that i worked with at the treatment center…ended up leaving there as i did not agree with some of the things they were doing and what was intended to help ended up being detrimental…

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  5. These are dark images you paint.. I sincerely hope road leads to ligher places…

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  6. Certainly institutionalizing someone can make someone worse rather than better, and an old (1970s) study indicated it took about three weeks for healthy people to get released. Nice write.

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  7. peggygoetz permalink

    Oh my you really conveyed the images well. At first I thought they were executing the person in the poem. This really leaves me quite speechless.

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  8. I suspect God loves you ( he saved my butt ) – maybe when he looks at us, he sees hope.

    If you criticize your writing for what is bad, then it’s only fair to accept what is good. I think when we write our poetry honestly, there’s always some good to it. – best regards – bw

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  9. what a powerful piece!

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  10. I love your writing because you never fail in honesty no matter how brutal it may be, and regardless of your many readers’ different walks of life and issues – we can all relate to your message in some way. Very powerful indeed!

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  11. For me, your poetry is highly inspirational in it’s brutal honesty and forthrightness. I don’t normally like reading poetry very much– but when I read yours, I always learn so much about you, the human condition, and ultimately, myslef. I used to not like my own artwork, but I’ve learned to embrace it– flaws and all– as I have learned to love myself. ~peace, Jason

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  12. Glad my poetry has helped you to embrace your art and yourself. Thanks for the kind words.

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    • Samantha White♡ permalink

      Sean♡, how are you writing these replies back? its Samantha.can you write back a reply from somewhere in there? hi♡

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      • I send the comments to Sean and he writes back his replies and I post them for him. He does not have internet access inside prison.
        –Sean’s Grandma

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