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Unsent Letter: Say Nothing At All

December 22, 2013

Beautiful, sweet woman. You make me feel like
the luckiest man,

Is how the letter began…

I sit and wonder now how things might
have been had I sent that letter. That
letter with the truth at its depth. Things
were beautiful, great, THE BEST in the
moment I wrote those words

What happened?

I sent her an insecure note, which I
attempted to mask with sexual prowess. I
sent her an insecure note, trying to apologize,
reason and justify failures that hadn’t yet
been but that I felt were near.

But were they? Really?

Now all that I am left with of her…
Is a song or two I wrote about her.
A line here and there in a poem.
And a yearning to tell her how beautiful
the beautiful memories I have of her
really are. And how sad they make me.
But they make me feel good too. How
my desire to kiss and touch and explore
her are as profound as ever. And to
tell her a few other things like “I’m sorry.”
I know it sounds so “cheap” but I am.
Sometimes she made me mad and
sometimes (mostly), I just got mad at myself.
I’d try to explain but it’s just complicated.
But somehow you’d understand… right?
If I could explain?

Oh … I’d like to just sit there
with you and stare. Say nothing
at all

It must be heaven-like to just sit there with you
and stare. Say nothing at all.

I think about you all the time. for the days
that you were in my life you made it
so much better. I just wanted to make some
good memories, something to hold onto and
cherish after we were gone. It didn’t quite
work out as I’d planned, but I will always
think of you in my heart as someone special
in my life. I just wish you had
worn that white powder make-up less.
You are too beautiful to hide your face
behind that stuff.

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One Comment
  1. Elisabeth permalink

    oh, this is so beautiful. i wish someone would write something like that about me =)

    Like

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