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Soliloquy

November 15, 2013

by Sean Michael, October 2013

You can’t kill me
Only I can kill me
Send this mother fucker up in flames
Nothing’s ever going to change …

I need a facelift
NO
Not the kind with a plastic surgeon and anesthesia
Though some anesthesia would be nice
Just stick it in my arm
That’s when the numbing starts
Just make it go away …

Look at me woman
Look at me Look at me
Please just look my way
Once …

Damn I’m lonely
At least I’m not phony
NO
Just lonely …

They think I’m weird
I feel weird
Guess I am weird
And lonely
My body is crying …

Here you are again
YES
again …

She thinks that I can’t satisfy her
I bet I could
She’d be satisfied
Even if it took a week
YES
I’d like that
My tongue would be her vagina’s favorite friend …

You ask me how I feel
I’ll try not to make this complicated

I tried …

OK
I’ll try again
I’m hungry
I’m tired
I’m ugly
I’m horny
I’m dead inside …

I’ve got an idea for a song
You’d better write it down
Later
You’ll forget by then
Not if it’s meant to be
Whatever
I’m lazy

That shit really hurt when she got rid of me
I didn’t eat for three days
I tried
I couldn’t even masturbate
I just sat there in the dark
I wanted to cry
Damn it …

I’ll take the blame
I know
It’s my fault
I’m serious this time
I’m not being sarcastic
Really …

I love her
OK
I just really care about her a lot
Why’d I say that …

Look at these scars on my wrist
This one right here
It’s the deepest
Ugly scars
I like them …

Get away from the mirror
You look conceited
I’m not
Not even close
More like low self esteem
It doesn’t seem that important
Just standing in the mirror trying to figure myself out …

I know I’m handsome at least
Yeah
A handsome mother fucker …

Come on
Just look at me
Once
OK twice
I love it when you look at me
I love looking at you …

There are a bunch of other things I’d like to say
Don’t know if it’s be worth it though
OH
By the way
She looked at me
A lot times
Then I fucked it up
She doesn’t look at me anymore
I miss her …

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From → BLOG, Poetry

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