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Dead Inside

July 31, 2013

July 31, 2013 Dead Inside

I wrote another song. I like writing songs. This one is called “Dead Inside.” That’s how I feel a lot–99% of the time or whenever I’m not creating art. Sometimes even when I am. Maybe I’m crazy. I hate being here in prison. I’ve only been locked up for 5 years, but I know I can’t survive another 20 or 30 or 40. Maybe I could, but I don’t want to. Fuck it. Just check my new song. It’s definitely not a soft rock song.

deadinside

Dead Inside
by Sean Michael, July 2013

You destroy me and I scream
I scream
I just wish I’d disappear.
You steal all my dreams
Replacing them with fear
I’ve fucked up again
just like you said I would
I told myself I’d try again
But I wonder if I should
How can I explain
To make you understand
All the shit you did
I can’t pretend to forget

I feel all this pain!
I shove it way down inside
Locked up inside my head
Only my flesh is still alive

If I could take it away
Then believe me I would
If I could change the past
Only if I could
But this is all I’m left
Only my mistakes
Still my heaving chest
My whole life’s a waste
I never made the right choices
As I’ve wandered the beaten path
I’ve lost my voice
Beneath the hands of wrath
I see you standing there
Your face the effigy of my pain

I can’t pretend to care
Can’t say I want to change
I know it’s too late for us
to ever be the same

I feel all this pain!
I shove it way down inside
Locked up inside my head
Only my flesh is still alive

You’re still telling lies
trying to erase the past
In this game I despise
I don’t know how long I can last
So smile and say your hellos
And pretend I haven’t yet said goodbye
Now your life is right
But you’ve already fucked up mine!
I hate the way you make believe
I want you to burn up inside

I wear a broken heart on my sleeve
With no mask to hide the pain
Stop trying to erase the past
I don’t want to play your fucking games
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
I feel all this pain! Just go away!
I shove it way down inside! Rising up!
Locked up inside my head! NEVER FREE!
Only my flesh is still alive! Dead inside

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From → BLOG, Songs

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