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Middle of the Night, 7-20-2013

July 28, 2013

face1There is song by Megadeth called “Prince of Darkness.” One of the lyrics is: “I take what you love, leave you in tears. Your hopes are my game, imprison your soul.” Sometimes I wonder if mankind is the fucking Prince of Darkness. Am I a devil? Why do I destroy myself? Why do I ruin everything that means anything to me? Why do I even try? OH, FUCK IT, NEVERMIND.


“A Toute Le Monde:”

Dear “Anonymous:”

I want to beat my head against the wall until it spits and I bleed. I want to carve obscene, vulgar things into my flesh–just so you can see my pain. And sometimes I’m pretty sure I’m about to fucking die. Sometimes I’m pretty sure that I will this time. So much built up inside, I release it and the pressure returns. Sometimes I want to hurt myself and maybe it’ll go away, if it’s something gruesome. But I can’t because these people will take control of my life and place me in stupid situations like padded rooms and mental health programs. Stupid people. They can’t “change” or “save” a person like me. They should just let me be. Too many eyes, too many ears, too much judgement. Too much HATE. Too Much Pain.




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