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Mental Episode

March 7, 2013

Recently, I had a “mental episode.” It had been a while.Suddenly, all I’ve fought to contain and maintain was at the surface, attacking me — I was attacking me.. I wanted to cut, I wanted to die in that moment. I hurt so badly that all I knew was hurt and I wanted, as twisted as it might seem, to hurt more. I found myself banging my head on the cell wall. I’m okay now, I guess, but it’s

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still difficult to understand. It’s kind of dark and blurry, and I could never fully understand or explain to an extent that’s completely lucid. It seems I’ve been thinking in incomplete sentences, and when the hate rises, it is poison that burns my flesh and fucks with my vision. And that is probably the most intelligent way that I can put it.

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